TALES OF INTEREST!

George Saunders on experimental fiction:

Here is an example of non-innovative use of language: “As Bill arrived at the store to buy milk, it started to rain.” What a snore! Anyone can write that! That is not innovative. That does not open our eyes to the hypocrisy of our society. Try this: “Went buy to arrived as he rain started it Bill Bill Bill the milk, Bill the milk!”… Whereas a boring realist writer might write, “Lillian sat at the black table,” an experimental writer says, “Lillian sat at the flat plane of ebony, the night-shaded planar surface, the non-white spatial expanse on which one can put things, such as ashtrays, if one smokes.” See how that is more innovative, because not just anyone could have written it, just the nerdy kids in school or your friends’ smart-ass son, who rolls his eyes when you say what bands you like?…

The ending of an experimental story is very important. It should make no sense, thus disrupting the reader’s dominant paradigm. You, the reader, should just sit there, stunned, asking yourself, “Wait, am I missing the last page?”

But guess what? You’re not.

David Foster Wallace, I believe you have just been called out. (via Harper’s Magazine)

My first attempt at making American chop suey was a resounding success. Genius chef I may not be, but I can mix up noodles and ground beef like nobody’s business.

One of my favorite blog sites lately is The Big Picture, on boston.com. Its mission: to bring you big pictures. Big gorgeous pictures of awesome.

Three recent updates, all with a science-y bent, have especially caught my attention lately. They’re all worth a few minutes, as is everything they post

Views of Jupiter, “as seen by various probes and telescopes over the past 30 years.” Includes mindblowing views of the planet, several of its moons, and its rings revealed by an eclipse.

Volcanoes!! Truly awesome (in both senses) pictures of volcanic activity taken from earth, air, and space.

The Large Hadron Collidor at CERN in the late stages of assembly. The pictures are amazing, not least because of the sheer scale (a 27-kilometer circumference), but also because they’re the most science-fictiony pictures of actual science I think I’ve ever seen. You could totally believe they’re installing a Stargate or preparing a fully operational battle station.

I want this WAKE ‘n’ BACON alarm clock soooooooo bad. Unfortunately, it’s only a prototype (and probably a fire hazard).

Once the alarm goes off, the clock sends a signal to a small speaker to generate the alarm sound. We hacked the clock so that the signal is re-routed by a microchip that responds by sending a signal to a relay that throws the switch to power two halogen lamps that slow-cook the bacon in about 10 minutes.

(courtesy Jeff)

Update, 8/13: The WAKE ‘n’ BACON has been further legitimized by a mention on the latest episode of Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me on NPR. Explains host Peter Sagal: “Two halogen lamps get busy cookin’ your strips of hickory-smoked sin, releasing the aroma into the air. And then, of course, you’ll be woken up easily and painlessly by your dogs as they climb over your face to eat your alarm clock.”

Gary Hustwit, the guy that brought you the fantastic typography documentary “Helvetica,” is now working on his followup, expected to be screening early next year:

“Objectified” is a documentary about industrial design; it’s about the manufactured objects we surround ourselves with, and the people who make them. On an average day, each of us uses hundreds of objects. (Don’t believe it? Start counting: alarm clock, light switch, faucet, shampoo bottle, toothbrush, razor…) Who makes all these things, and why do they look and feel the way they do? All of these objects are “designed,” but how can good design make them, and our lives, better?

I know there are at least two to four people likely to see this post who will also flip out. (You know who you are.) Based on “Helvetica,” Hustwit has a great touch for invigorating seemingly-dull-but-actually-really-interesting material. I can hardly wait for this. (via Daring Fireball)

This morning, Google Maps tried to get me to make an illegal U-turn across a road barrier, three lanes of traffic, and a median island.

Wow. This is like having your photos printed over the internet and mailed back to you, except with things. (And I still thought it was pretty cool with photos!)

Link (via BoingBoing)

Here’s the latest thing I can’t get out of my head:

Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse! Bad Horse!

The Evil League of Evil is watching, so beware
The grade that you receive will be your last, we swear
So make the Bad Horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare
You’re saddled up, there’s no recourse
It’s “Hi ho, Silver!” Signed, Bad Horse.

(Available on iTunes, if you were foolish enough to miss it while it was streamable for free)

I took this picture on the way home tonight of the sun setting over the fog-covered Santa Cruz mountains, beyond the Crystal Springs Reservoir. The haze and the unearthly red tinge are the result of smoke from the wildfires that seem to be burning up approximately half of California. Click for a bigger version.

Freaking hilarious.